My life has been one hectic mess! Although, it's a good mess. I have finally started college and have just finished my second week of classes. The workload is a bit overwhelming, especially now in the beginning, but so far I'm still good. I'm quite prone to stress, but I hope that with lots of working ahead and good planning I'll be more than okay.
College – it sounds terrifying to me, yet to others it sounds like a fun challenge. I guess you could say I'm a bit of a latebloomer. I have never in my life been 100% sure of what I wanted to be when I grew up, let alone what I wanted to study. I think I've come to this point in life where I'm aware I might never know for sure and I've accepted it. This is why I've picked a very broad study course, which still gives me sufficient opportunities in different directions later on.
After graduating high school I got rejected from the college I originally wanted to go to and my parents couldn't accept the fact of me not going to school. So I picked a random study course and applied to another college in a rush. Big mistake right there. With all that pressure and remaining stress from my senior year in high school, I could not handle it for long. Before I knew it, I was having daily mental breakdowns and I dropped out. It was one of my darkest times and I was at an all time low.
After that was when I decided to take a deep breather and take back control of my life. I went on a plane to New York. Slowly but surely, I noticed my mental health improve and I felt genuinely happy for the first time in a long time. The city did wonders to me. It's where I discovered my love for writing, which I still hope will blossom into something worthwhile one day.
I knew that once my plane would land back in Amsterdam, the magical trip would be over and I'd actually have to figure out what to do with my life. I thought, studying international business still gives me many opportunities, and it helps me take a step closer to achieving my dreams; travelling the world and working in a foreign country.
So that's what I decided to do. And when I filled in my application, I actually felt pretty confident and excited about it. It's something I never thought I'd feel when applying for college. I'm still going to keep writing in my spare time, because it's what I now love to do, but I'm also aware that I need to focus on my education at this point in life. I'm blessed I've been given a second chance at shaping my future. I'm still young and I have faith that eventually I will figure it all out.
"There's something both exciting and terrifying about standing at the edge of a necessary unknown." – All Time Low
Love, Faith
